Tag Archives: change

Mending the Net

Available on Amazon

Available on Amazon


Mending the Net

A Guide to Healing Self & Family

By Katherine Boyer, M.A.

Even if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you can create a healthy, happy family.

Learn how to liberate yourself into your future by letting go of past family dysfunctions and be in your present.

The power of the family system is at the core of what we need for a healthy spirit. Examine your own personal foundation and learn how to bring in protection before you begin on your healing pathway.
This is an individual and inter-generational story of one woman’s journey of healing and it is an everyman’s story. Within that story is the methodology for all who want to learn new ways to grow and change. Exercises are included in each chapter so that the reader may also heal Self and learn new insights.

Gain spirit helpers, build a positive foundation, burn old rules, and learn how to shift from the negative to the positive polarity by using the outlined exercises. Discover new methods for doing this emotional shift. Take negative childhood experiences and turn them into a healthy self and a healthy family. Achieve an alchemic transformation. Exercises are designed to show you how to transform past dysfunctional patterns into new, healthy patterns. Learn to re-pattern the past and heal the future.

Heal old wounds and become lighter and clearer. Learn to communicate with your Higher Self and use these exercises as a catalyst for movement and change.
Mending the Net walks you through many exercises on the path of healing so that you can transmute your trauma and hurt and move forward to create a loving family. With new awareness you create a new paradigm that breaks the old and unhealthy patterns from your past and ancestor lineage. Learn to recognize and break the old pattern of being parentized. Release old negative emotions through writing and experiential exercises. Re-dream your future. New awareness brings in new emotions. This is transmutation.

Take old negative harmful thoughts and change them into joy and love. Transmute the emotions of your past experiences. This is true alchemy, changing the base metals of fear into the gold of love.

If we change our past disruptive patterns and create new healthy patterns, then we heal ourselves. If we heal ourselves then we can heal our families. If we heal our families, then we can heal the world.


This post originally appeared as the March/April 2014 Community Spotlight on New Connexions.

Caiman AdaptabilityAdaptability, the ability to change to fit the circumstances, flexibility, alterable, pliability, plasticity, malleability, versatility, elasticity, change for the better, to be more useful.

When I went to my yoga class today, the instructor decided to start with a teaching story before our usual exercises of centering, chanting ‘Om’ and deep breathing. He said that he had watched a TV show, a survival series, that had two men stranded on an island in the middle of cayman piranha infested waters. Their mission was to leave the island using only a machete, twine, and fire starter. One man found a large tree trunk, and decided to hollow it out using charcoal and the machete. The other man was skeptical, but he found twigs to sharpen and use as arrows to hunt the piranha for their food and protein source.

They worked like this for 3 days, but did not have quite enough calories for the work they were doing. Cutting into the undergrowth, stripping bark, hollowing a deep log required lots of physical exertion. But then the boat was done and they were excited to think about floating out to safety. They dragged it to the water’s edge. It was quite heavy. The designer of the boat stepped in carefully to take it out and it sank. He stood there, in the muddy waters, his feet in the interior of the submerged dugout. The boat was too heavy to float and carry the two men.

And here is the intriguing part of the story. They did not yell at each other or throttle each other. They did not blame each other. They did not name call or denigrate the other for stupidity, lack of judgment, or the wasted use of man hours. Instead, they each took a deep breath, carried the boat back to shore, and flipped it over. Now their homemade canoe could gather air in the hollowed out seat areas and float. They lashed boughs on either side of the upside down boat, sat on it, and then floated over the cayman and piranha filled waterway. Solution found! Salvation and safety! Yea! Now that was adaptability, that was taking a bad situation, looking for and finding a new solution.


Exercise: How to Unstick Yourself in the Face of Adversity
and Become Adaptable

So how can we learn the wonderful art of being able to alter our perceptions when we become stymied? Can you do that with your life? Let’s practice. Try following these steps to see if you can flex your perceptions. Adaptability is survival at a very basic level, but we can practice using this trait in our modern daily lives. After all, practice makes it much easier to expand our abilities to become adaptable.

  1. When confronted by something that is not working out for you, first state the problem out loud. Identify it. Then state how you want to solve that problem out loud.
  2. Now step back physically a few paces. This will cue your body to redirect your mindset.
  3. Now restate your problem once more out loud, without any predetermined solution.
  4. Quietly stand, close your eyes, let the different thoughts come through to you, like daydreaming.
  5. Now write down any of the ideas in your journal. This is a personal brain-storm.
  6. Breathe. Take note of any new ideas that have come up for you. If nothing new comes, then try this exercise again. In the meantime you have allowed yourself a few moments of rest to dissipate any over-charged emotions. Keep your new ideas on your paper to reflect on later. You are taking a small new step to change the dynamic that you previously had. You can also find that you could use this approach with other family members to see if together you can come to a new way of solving a problem.

Katherine Boyer, M.A., is an author, speaker, and shamanic practitioner. Her new book, Mending the Net, outlines methods to heal self and family of old dysfunctions by creating new healthy patterns. Please visit www.mendingthenet.com .